The First Casualty

While conducting my research into the foundational claims of the LDS church, I'd often take some time to read up on all the personal experiences that other people have had when leaving the mormon fold. I've read many of the stories that are posted on the RFM (Recovery From Mormonism) board and I try to keep up on a few blogs that are kept by former mormons (see those to which I've linked).

From what I read, I got the impression that resigning from the church would be a very difficult and stressful endeavor. Many people who leave are subsequently alienated by their TBM family members and friends. Marriages end (I read somewhere that 8 out of 10 marriages end in divorce when one spouse leaves the church while the other remains a member). People have even lost their jobs when they finally garnish the courage to stand up and point out all the many problems with the church (um, can you say "BYU faculty?")

So when I finally decided I was going to make an official exit from the church, I was expecting the worst.

While I didn't think my wife would actually leave me because of it, I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself for such a possibility. At the very least, I expected to be interrogated by my in-laws.

And I naturally assumed that my ward bishop and/or his counsellors would do everything in their power to convince me to keep the faith and retain my membership.

None of that happened. Almost everyone in my immediate circle of family and friends now know about my apostasy from "the one true church" and up until this past week, I hadn't been faced with any sort of alienation, persecution, or even questioning.
My wife is still struggling with my decision, but our marriage is in no immediate danger (knock on wood.) Even the in-laws are still treating me like an actual member of the family, instead of placing any amount of distance between us.

The bishop, while obviously in disagreement with my choice, is honoring my request for name removal from the records of the church and didn't bother to schedule any sort of "court" on my behalf. He's been pretty understanding about the whole thing.

Wow, I must be pretty lucky to not have to deal with all the hardship that others have gone through when they left the church.

And then my dad called me on Wednesday night. I'll save the bulk of the conversation for another post, but the short story is this:

He's disowned me as his son.

I consider this the first real relationship casualty since my departure from the LDS religion.