Talking To My Zelph

Silly Things Mormons Say #2

2009-05-08T23:29:00.004-07:00

For the record, I had intended these "silly things" to be an extensive series, but it fizzled out rather quickly. I think I had actually started a #2 months ago, but never got around to finishing it. At any rate, here's something silly that I heard recently that I thought would be suitable for this kind of post.

I share an office with two other fellows - one is a lapsed mormon, such as myself, and the other is still immersed eyebrow-deep in the "church".

Shortly after payday one day, my uber-mormon office mate gets up from his desk and announces to us that he's going to go out to lunch. He walks out only to return a moment later and he sits back down.

We asked him if he was still going out for something to eat and he replies that no, he realized he can't really afford to go out to eat because his paycheck is what pays the house payment (they just bought a new one not too long ago) and his last paycheck wasn't enough to cover the payment.

(Now, I know for a fact that he's a full and honest tithe payer because I overhear him discussing finances with his wife over the phone constantly.)

I was SO tempted to say "you know, you can give yourself a ten percent raise right now by not paying your tithing anymore", but I held my tongue. I'm sure that in his mind, such an idea would be nigh unthinkable. He's gotta pay his way into heaven!

It just boggles my mind that people can be convinced of such absurdities. Hey, I once fell for it too, but at least I had a good excuse - I was raised in TSCC and didn't know any better. This guy actually CONVERTED to the mindlessness!

I feel sorry for him and those like him. I really do.

If I can step onto my soapbox for just a brief moment here:

STOP THROWING YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY AWAY TO THIS JOKE OF A RELIGION!
They don't need your money. Jesus doesn't need your money. If you really want to donate it to a good cause, there are plenty of other reputable organizations out there. Hell, give some money to the Red Cross - I have! LDS Inc, will never see another dime from me for as long as I draw breath. And don't be afraid to toss a couple of dollars to a panhandler. (I know the church discourages such donations to people hanging out around Temple Square - "Don't give to panhandlers! Give us your money and let us distribute it any way we see fit!")

What a con. IT'S ALL A CON!

Jesus (if he was even real) would never in a million years fault someone for choosing to feed and/or clothe their kids (or pay a house payment!!!!) instead of paying tithing. He, of all people, would encourage taking care of each other - NOT A RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION.

If I was still a praying man, I would pray for people who are caught up in all these despicable lies and deceptions.

Take some baby-steps toward your own freedom, be it religious, financial, or both. At the very least, stop paying your tithing - especially if you can't afford it. Don't allow anyone to dupe you into thinking you have to pay your way to the celestial kingdom. If it's real and you're a good person, you'll probably end up there anyway.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

(Oh wait, that's another speech entirely.)

Baby steps my friends...baby steps. I promise it isn't too bad on this side of the fence. :)

Wow, It's Been Awhile!

2009-05-08T23:16:00.003-07:00

Wow, I can't believe it's almost been 7 months since my last post!

Not that I haven't had anything to say - I guess I've just been busy with this, that and the other. That, and I think I'm finally evolving beyond the need to obsess over all things silly...er, I mean Mormon...er, I mean religious. The river or life has flowed ever onward and I have allowed myself to be carried downstream amidst all its frothy goodness.

I can say that when I was a TBM, I thought I was happy - because I thought I was actually part of something unique and special and that I had some kind of special "knowledge" that those poor saps outside of TSCC didn't have, but now that I'm free of the bondage that was LDS membership, my life has improved a hundred fold (if not more so!) Life is a joy to live, because I have learned to savor and appreciate each and every little moment. No longer is this mortal realm just a "way-station" to that fabled eternal glory. It has become everything, because for all I know (or anyone knows, for that matter), this is it. This is all we will ever have, all we will ever be. This life is a one-time deal. No do-overs. No second chances. No resurrection and afterlife.

This.
Is.
It.

So we might as well enjoy it!

What are still reading this dumb blog for? Go out and LIVE!!!

Oh, and don't forget to live long and prosper (I saw Star Trek today - thought I'd try to fit it into this post somehow!)

Silly Things Mormons Say #1 (Just The First Of Many, I Assure You)

2008-10-11T07:18:00.003-07:00

Earlier this summer, I went to a barbecue at a cousin's house. That side of my family is as TBM as it gets (almost to the point of being ridiculous), but they're good people and they mean well.

As an exmo, I am now more "in-tune" so to speak of the silly comments that TBM's make without even really thinking about what they're saying or how it might affect those around them - especially those of us who have radically different religious views. Of course, since most of my extended family aren't even aware of my apostasy from THE church, I'm privvy to some of the more asinine comments because they assume I'm still in the same sinking boat that they are.

Anyway, at the barbecue, I overheard some woman that I don't know (probably one of their friends and/or neighbors) make a comment about anti-mormons. At the time, the whole Mormons-getting-blasted-by-the-Jews-for-baptizing-them-posthumously was prominent in the news media. This older woman at the barbecue was talking about "nothing can stop this work" and that she either knew or heard of a man (I can't remember now which was the case) who was very vocal against the church and was apparently some kind of speed bump on the road to the church's plans of world-domination.

She said that this man was trying to stop "the lard's" work and since the mormon god is some sort of cosmic, unstoppable juggernaut who can't stand any form of competition, he "removed" the man by giving him a heart attack and killing him.....six months later.

I couldn't help but shake my head in disgust after hearing the statement. This woman just didn't realize how stupid she sounded. So this supposed omnipotent, omnipresent, all-loving-yet-stragely-vengeful god, couldn't find any other way to remove the obstacle who was this unnamed man and saw fit to just kill him, but for some reason, had to wait 6 months to do it.

C'mon, lady. Let's pull your head and think through this. Could their POSSIBLY be another explanation, such as the guy just had a lousy ticker or unhealthy eating habits and just didn't exercise enough, thus causing his heart attack? It just simply HAD to be the lard who took him out of the equation?

Silly...just silly.

My 2 Cents on Prop. 8

2008-10-09T19:39:00.003-07:00

It seems to me that the LDS "church" is once again sticking it's nose where it doesn't belong with regards to California's Proposition 8.

First of all, what exactly IS Prop. 8? According to the entry on Wikipedia:

"Proposition 8 is an initiative measure on the 2008 California General Election ballot titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. If passed, the proposition would change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. A new section would be added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

The "church" wants everyone in California, nay, THE ENTIRE WORLD, to believe and act and think just like they do. They want to prohibit otherwise law-abiding citizens (you know, those *gasp!* GAY people) from marrying each other and having the same rights and recognition that all us fantastic straight people have. (Please note my sarcasm here!)

The "church" has admonished their flocks in California to donate their time and resources in support of this ridiculous amendment that basically encourages close-mindedness, hatred and discrimination. (see the Salt Lake Tribune article "Young Mormons urged to join fight against gay marriage in California" by Peggy Fletcher Stack: http://www.sltrib.com/lds/ci_10671847 ).

As I see it, the "church" is welcome to enforce their own little rules and regulations upon their own members, but they have no right to push their religious agenda and ideals on anyone else. Are the gays knocking on the temple door demanding to be married within it's so-called "holy" walls? Not that I've seen. What does it really hurt to allow two men or two women, who love and care for each other to have the same rights and privelages as a heterosexual couple?

The answer, quite simply, is nothing. It doesn't hurt anyone or anything (although it might offend some people who are too stubborn - or stupid - to just let go of their bigotry and arrogance and just let other people live their own lives.)

For the record, when I was an active TBM, I allowed those blowhards in religious authority to convince me that a gay lifestyle was sinful, wicked and an abomination in the eyes of god.

Let me just say that I'm glad I'm not that guy anymore!

I've worked with and gotten to know some gay men at a previous job and I came to understand them and respect them - much more so than the holier-than-thou "brothers and sisters" of my faith. I came to realize that gay people are among the least judgmental and/or arrogant in the community, whereas most of the mormons I knew were quick to judge and condemn those with opposing views and lifestyles.

We should celebrate love in all its forms - be it straight or gay. It's a precious thing and should be encouraged and supported, not feared, hated, or limited in any way.

What's my bottom line? I am whole-heartedly AGAINST Prop. 8.

Say NO to bigotry and discrimination. Vote NO on Proposition 8.

The True Power of Priesthood Blessings

2008-04-12T10:32:00.006-07:00

A woman I knew recently passed away. She wasn't that old and she didn't have any serious health problems to speak of, so her death was a complete surprise.

While at her viewing (held, strangely enough, in the Relief Society room of a local LDS ward), I overheard an older gentlemen telling about how he was one of the last people to see her alive.

He told of how just the night before her death, he had gone to visit her and she had complained about not feeling very well - a headache or something - and that he had given her a priesthood blessing to help her feel better.

I was appalled at how this guy didn't seem to realize the utter irony of the situation. I'm sure that he completely believes that he has some kind of magic healing ability bestowed upon him as an extension of "the lord's" holy priesthood and that he fully expected her to be A-Okay after his little laying-on-of-hands fiasco. Sadly, it was not to be.

From listening to his story, it didn't appear that he even considered the possibility that his magnificent "priesthood authority" wasn't any more real than a Disney fairytale.

I feel sorry for him and people like him.

I can relate, of course, having been raised in that school of thought myself. I remember being taught that if I had but the faith comparable to the size of a mere mustard seed that I could move mountains (Matthew 17:19-20). As a child, I took such a lesson to heart and I tested the promise many times. I mean, how awesome would that have been? I pictured myself as Luke Skywalker in the swamps of Dagobah, levitating stones with my mind.

Nothing ever happened.

Couldn't move even a rock without having to step forward and kick it.

So I convinced myself that the problem then was with me. I simply didn't have enough faith. So I would try harder to do everything I was told I needed to do to please this invisible "god" that never really seemed to much of anything at all.

It's a pity that these kinds of foolish lies and fantasies are perpetuated from one generation to the next. I mean, seriously, how f@cked up is it to instill a belief system in a child that creates feelings of self-doubt, self-pity, and sometimes even self-hatred? To coerce an otherwise healthy individual into thinking that there's something wrong with them?

When I was a True Believing Mormon, I was NEVER comfortable with who I was, because I never felt like I was good enough or that I deserved any "blessings" from Mr. Elohim or his sidekick Jehovah. It messed with my head something fierce.

Thankfully, all that has changed. I'm still trying to de-program my thought processes from all those years of youthful indoctrination, but I think I'm making some serious progress.

To any and all of you who might be taking a similar journey, I wish you well.

Just don't expect me to lay my hands upon your head in a futile attempt to tap into some spiritual powers - I doubt it would do much good.

My Current Religious Status

2008-02-15T21:44:00.002-07:00

Once I left Mormonism, I briefly considered looking into a more mainstream branch of Christianity - something non-denominational, but my personal studies had extended from Mormonism to Christian and then Religion in general. The only logical (for me) conclusion I could come to was that I didn't know, so I adopted the label of being an agnostic.

I didn't really think that anyone else in the world had an absolute knowledge of religious truth, either, so my mantra became "I don't know, and neither do you." I later learned that this attitude is called Militant Agnosticism. I don't really care much for the term though - it has an air of "I'm going to force you to believe as I do". That's not my intention at all. I'm willing to allow people to believe in whatever the hell they want. What I will argue with, however, are statements like "I KNOW this, that, or the other." That's such a foolish mindset. Nobody KNOWS anything about god, one way or the other.

So having said all that, I suppose I'm still a Militant Agnostic, but I'm bordering ever so precariously on the edge of full fledged atheism.

I agree with much of what Richard Dawkins, the author of The God Delusion, says on the matter. One great quote of his is (and I'm paraphrasing here): "we're all atheists when it comes to the gods of ancient religions. We just go one god further."

I'm still reluctant to come right out and deny the possible existence of some omnipotent creator, but until presented with absolute proof, I must seriously doubt that such a being is real.

I'm still trying to sift through my thoughts and feelings and overall beliefs with regards to god and religion, and for the sake of my own sanity, I need to find a way to boil it all down to the simplest terms possible.

Bear with me here.

Either god exists or he doesn't. I've seen virtually NO evidence to properly validate the existence of god. God then, most likely does not exist.

If there is a god, which god is it? Whose god? Just one or many? This idea opens up a can of worms and raises exponentially more questions than answers.

As a follow-up, if god exists, which church is His church? Again, there are no real answers, only subjective opinions.

Just on this reasoning alone, the likelihood that the mormon church is "the only true church on the face of the earth" is pretty low.

(I'd like to close with a disclaimer here - this blog is intended to assist me in my transition out of mormonism. I'm not trying to start any fights with TBMs of any faith. As I've said, you're free to believe whatever you want. If anyone even reads this blog and disagrees with me, that's your right and you're entitled to it. Any comments attempting to "set me straight" will most likely be ignored or deleted. I don't have the time or energy to fight with anyone.)

The Terrible Truth About Tithing

2007-11-23T22:39:00.002-07:00

I used to work at a pretty cool laboratory.

It was a fairly small company that did extremely well in it's market and was a serious competitor to other, larger companies. One such competitor eventually bought out the small lab and welcomed [most of] us, the employees, into their corporate family and we retained our jobs. Not too long after that, an even larger competitor bought out the second company and decided it had too many laboratories in operation around the country and needed to shut some down.

My branch was one that was closed, thus leaving me and about 100 other people suddenly unemployed.

As referenced in my previous post: shit happens, eh?

Getting laid off is pretty big news and family members are undoubtedly going to catch wind of it. When I broke the news to my TBM father, one of the very first questions he asked me was "are you paying your tithing?"

At the time, I don't think I'd paid said tithing for several months. I'd already begun having doubts about the church and had just started my research. For me, one of the first stepping stones on the road to apostacy was to stop paying tithing. Things had always been tight anyway, and it didn't make sense to me that a loving god would demand my 10% when I really needed it to help provide necessities for my family.

I don't remember now if I gave my father a straight answer or not. I probably did my best to dodge the question. I wasn't ready then to come out of the doubter's closet and face the judgements of my TBM family members.

Looking back now though, I have to wonder what the hell is the actual point of tithing anyway? Mormons are promised (PROMISED!) by their leaders that if they are faithful in obeying the LAW of tithing, then "the windows of heaven will pour out blessings upon them".

Had I been forthcoming with dear old dad and admitted to ignoring the church-mandated "law", it would have been so easy for him to think that perhaps I was responsible for my own unemployment.

Nevermind the fact that a large number of employees affected by the lay off were temple-recommend holding, garment wearing, tithing paying LDS folks. They were doing everything they thought they needed to do to earn god's great and wonderful blessings, so why were they being punished in the same fashion as I?

I'm only speculating here, of course. I don't know for certain that my father would think such a thing, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility.

Now, fast forward a year and a half or so. I'm back to work for a new company (I was only unemployed for two weeks). My father tells me that the company he drives truck for is being forced to cut on of his runs. This directly affects his monthy income, cutting it almost in half.

As far as I know, my dad is still Mr. Gung-Ho Mormon Man. He's always talking about his trips to the temple, so I can only assume he's been a faithful tithe payer in order to qualify for the highly prestigous Temple recommend.

So where are his blessings? Where's his financial security? It should be very well safeguarded by the Lord who has promised to provide both spiritual and temporal blessings to those who abide by the law of tithing.

Let's cut through the many (oh, so many) layers of bullshit heaped upon us by the "inspired" LDS leadership and come to a much more likely conclusion: paying tithing to the Corporation of the President of TCOJCOLDS does absolutely nothing to ensure any kind of financial security or guarantee any kind of "blessings". Of course, some will argue that point, saying that something good happened because they paid tithing. There's simply no way to prove that such is the case.

If bad things can happen for no quantifiable reason, than so can good things.

"There But For The Grace Of God..."

2007-11-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

I used to like the phrase "there but for the grace of God go you or I."

I don't know where it's originally from, but I always thought it had kind of a poetic quality to it and back when I had the mindset of an arrogant True Believing Mormon, I foolishly assumed that the phrase had a practical application in my life. If not for the "one true gospel" of the LDS church, after all, I could be just like that homeless guy in Pioneer Park, or I could be a drug addict or a criminal, or worse.

"There but for the grace of god..."

It served as some sort of validation for me that I was doing everything God wanted me to do. I was a member of His church, holding His priesthood authority (although it never seemed to have any actual power to do anything) and for awhile there, I was a card-carrying member with access to the International House of Handshakes (aka, the temple). Obviously, I was one of those valiant spirits in the pre-existence who had accepted Jesus' plan of salvation and was born into and raised as a member of the only church with the true and restored gospel.

"There but for the grace of god..."

I'm not sure when, but it was probably during my year of church history research, analytical process and personal reflection that I realized the true implication of the poetic phrase.

If "there but for the grace of god..." was true, then that meant that God plays favorites.

It suddenly didn't seem very fair that some people would be given preferential treatment over others. How arrogant it was for me to assume that god liked me better than some poor kid in Africa somewhere who lives in a mud hut and goes to bed hungry every night.

I don't like that god. He apparantly holds grudges and doesn't follow his own rules of kindness, compassion and forgiveness. More than likely, such a being that hands out blessings and cursing willy-nilly doesn't even exist.

The simpler - and more logical - explanation is that shit happens.

Bad things happen to good and bad people.

Good things happen to those exact same people.

And pure chance is the cause of it all...not the grace - or lack thereof - of some higher power.

Maybe I'll change the phrase to "there but for pure-dumb luck go your or I."

A New Perspective

2007-11-03T10:21:00.001-07:00

When I was a TBM, I never worried too much about death.

Why should I? I mean, I was a member of the one true church on earth and as long as I played my cards right and did everything that was asked of me, I was destined for glory in the afterlife. Life itself wasn't very valuable to me because there was always the promise of an eternal life after this one.

I used to tell my friends that when I die, I wanted a party instead of a funeral. Funerals are solemn, depressing things and a party would be much more fitting for someone who was now in "a better place".

But now, I've adjusted my thinking on this.

Since I no believe in those kinds of promises and have accepted the very real possibility that there is no glorious afterlife awaiting me, I've come to put much more value on human life. The worth of every moment of life has increased exponentially. Each moment I have with my family and children has become so much more precious.

Since I have no proof that I (or anyone else) will live forever, I must believe that my life is finite and will someday end (a sober revelation indeed!) so I must make the most of whatever amount of time I have left.

Life is just too short to be miserable or to do things you just don't want to do. Like sitting in church for 3 or 4 or even 5 hours on a Sunday. Or "home teaching" a neighbor when you'd rather be watching NBC on Thursday nights (I'm addicted to The Office!) or working in a "calling" that you really have no interest in fulfulling.

I realize that there are plenty of LDS folk who geniunely like doing everything TSCC asks of them. But there are plenty of others who are railroaded into church service and activites because to say no to the prophet, sp, or bishop is the equivalent of saying no to God or Jesus himself (at least, that's what I was told as a church member.) But not me. I came to resent every calling, every assignment - anything that took me away from my family - even for a moment.

It feels so good to be out of that overbearing and demanding organization. Freedom never tasted so good.

Denying the Priesthood

2007-11-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I'm extremely proud of my 6 year old daughter.

Before our weekly get-together at the in-laws house last Sunday, I pulled my oldest two children aside and explained to them that during the blessing on the food, they didn't have to fold their arms, close their eyes, or bow their head, but that they did have to be quiet.

After everyone sat at the table, my father-in-law called on my daughter to offer the blessing. She gave a nervous smile and looked at me, then at her mother, then back to me. I could tell she wasn't comfortable giving the blessing. Since we've abandoned the practice at my house, the only time my kids see anyone praying is at these weekly gatherings.

I said to her, "you don't have to if you don't want to honey. It's okay."

She seemed very relieved to hear this. FIL then called on another grandchild to give the blessing.

I know it seems like such a small, trivial thing, but it seemed like a major victory for me. I know how intimidating it can be to be surrounded by a TBM family who expects everyone to conform to their beliefs and expectations. My daughter is aware of my separation from those kinds of beliefs and undoubtedly needs an ally for situations such as these.

Fortunately, the in-laws haven't been too fanatical in pushing the church on my children.

Agnostics R Us

2007-09-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

So, unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years or so, you've heard all the buzz surrounding Dan Brown's DaVinci Code - both the book and the movie.

I remember watching news footage of enraged Christians (Catholics?) who were so offended at the idea that Jesus had married and fathered children that they initiated a book burning of Brown's novel. I mean, WTF?

While it can be argued that a married Jesus has never been "official" church doctrine (it's getting harder and hard to pin down exactly what is and what is not church doctrine anyway), some Mormons are perfectly willing to accept the possibility that Jesus had a wife and kids, and some LDS leaders have even taught the principle from the pulpit (Apostle Orson Hyde being one of them.)

My father is one of those people who's happy to entertain the idea.

Recently, while visiting my half-brother and his family just outside of Sin City, Nevada, my father (yes, we're on speaking terms again) looked at a small, framed print of the famous last supper painting (you know, the one by DaVinci!) and he said "we look at that painting differently now, don't we?"

I knew he was referring to the speculation that the figure to the right of Jesus was Mary, his wife.

In response, I said "I look at all of that stuff differently now."

He didn't press the issue and let the matter drop - which is huge, because my dad is the type of person who never stops talking, dominates every conversation, and usually has to have the last word.

I considered it a minor victory.

I continue to try to learn about all things religious though. I watch some Christian programs on TBN...I read numerous blogs written by people of different faiths...I even read the Ensign when it arrives monthly to our doorstep. But I no longer just accept everything that's being fed to me. I QUESTION EVERYTHING.

I recently watched the documentary The God Who Wasn't There which was produced by one of those guys responsible for the Blasphemy Challenge and a member of the atheist group, the Rational Response Squad.

Some people are bold enough to outright deny the existence of God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost.

I won't do that. After all, you can't prove a negative.

Since abandoning the LDS belief-system, I've considered myself to be an agnostic, but now I'm willing to theorize (if that's the right word to use) that EVERYONE is agnostic.

In simplest terms, the word agnostic means "without knowledge". I declare that NO ONE has a perfect knowledge of who or what God is (or isn't). People can believe whatever the hell they want to believe, but to present something unprovable as absolute fact is arrogant and downright irresponsible.

You can tell me you BELIEVE in God and Jesus and all that jazz, but don't tell me you KNOW it be true. You don't. You can't. If God was real, it could be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. That has yet to be done.

But on the other hand, you can't state with absolute certainty that God DOESN'T exist either.

This battle has raged for centuries. It's a no-win situation. What saddens me is that we, as a human race, are willing to KILL ourselves over a difference in religious beliefs. We need to wake up, open our damn eyes, and stop trying to prove who's God is bigger, better and more real.

If God was real...we would all know it.

Wouldn't we?

I'm willing to hear any and all opinions. I'm not claiming to have ultimate knowledge here and I'm really hoping that no one else does.

We're all born agnostics and I think we all still are.

Adverse Advertising

2007-08-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

While driving north on I-15 yesterday, I saw a billboard advertising an upcoming Mormon propaganda film entitled "Return With Honor".

I immediately remembered the story a read a few weeks ago about the PostMormon.org billboard that had been taken down up in Idaho because the property owner on which the billboard was located (a Mormon, of course) was offended at the thought of sponsoring (even indirectly so) an ex-Mormon website.

And yet it's okay to flaunt pro-Mormon rubbish all over the place.

I can't even walk into Wal-Mart without running into the LDS book display at the front of the store or the LDS music/movie display at the back of the store.

As a Mormon, all this stuff had been invisible to me, but now that I'm looking at things around me with a completely different world-view - I'm borderline nauseous with the innundation of Mormon materials. It's inescapable.

Maybe that's why I'm compelled to push back just a little bit.

I'm unaware of the current status of the "More Good Foundation" and I'm curious to know how well their defensive positions are holding up against the barrage of all the websites and blogs devoted to exposing the truth about Mormonism. The internet has proven to be a powerful medium indeed, and while TSCC may scurry back into the darkness with its lies and deceit, they cannot extinguish the ever-growing number of torches being lit by the angry villagers of FormerMormonVille (ironically, the More Good Foundation utilizes a torch as part of its logo). Some of us are wielding pitchforks too.

How long until the castle walls come crumbling down and the monster is finally revealed? Time will tell.

Which pro-Mormon advocate was it that made the comment "let [anti-mormons] have their own little corner of cyberspace"? I've done a search, and the closest I could come to was an article by William J. Hamblin on the FAIR website.

Whoever it was has delusions of granduer, I'm sure. Those proponents of the More Good Foundation (and Mormonism in general) are fooling themselves if they think their efforts can effectively silence those of us who speak out against the absurd claims of Joseph Smith and his pet pit-bull Brigham Young.

We're here, we're persistent, and we're doing much more than simply "kicking against the pricks."

What's truly sad is that religious fanatics (not just Mormons, but those of other religious faiths as well) actually BELIEVE that we agnostics, athiests, apostates, non-members, anti-mormons, or what-have-you, are the tools of a mythical creature called SATAN! And that there's this invisible cosmic battle between God, Jesus, angels and Lucifer and his unholy hordes. It's preposturous!

When are we, as the human race, going to wake up, abandon the silly myths of religions and strive to make the world a better place? IMO, religions do just as much harm to humanity than good and it's high time we took responsibility for ourselves, instead of leaving our fates to an invisible God and blaming an invisible Satan for all the bad stuff in the world?

I'd like to see that question up on a billboard one day.

Well Intentioned Disrespect

2007-08-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

My sister, who is still a "member" of the LDS church but not active (or a believer in anything spiritual for that matter,) called me last night to ask if my wife and I were planning on having our new baby blessed in the church. She's well aware of my complete apostasy from the faith of our youth and has been very supportive of my decision.

When I told her no, she then asked me if I had been approached about it by anyone in our family or by my TBM in-laws. Since most of these people know about my departure from the church, no one has bothered to bring up the subject. I keep expecting my wife to do so, but she hasn't either. She's still a garment-wearing member, although due to my influence, she hasn't been to church in several months. If she was to insist on having the baby blessed, I would probably give my consent, but only in the interest of keeping the peace between us.

Then my sister, who had her first child just a few months ago, proceeded to tell me that her father-in-law (another TBM), went ahead and submitted her baby's name to the church records division despite the fact that my sister and her husband had both told him that they had no intention of having their baby blessed in the church.

Now, I'm sure that my sister's FIN was just doing what he thought was best, but he clearly overstepped his bounds.

I asked my sister if she was planning on confronting him about his decision to go over their heads and make the kid a member anyway, and she said that in order to keep the peace, she would just let the matter drop. I told her that it was her decision to make, but that it's important to establish firm boundaries with LDS friends and family members.

As the title of this post indicates, the well intentions of TBM friends and family can often be very disrespectful to those of us who want nothing to do with the church. It's so unfortunate that we ex-mos (or in my sister's case, non-believing-mos) are in the minority here in Utah and have to tip-toe around sensitive religious beliefs for the sake of maintaining civil relations with those around us. Why is it that TBMs can expect to freely discuss church topics or have their little prayers in public places, but are quick to sneer or scoff at people who voice an opposing opinion? It hardly seems fair.

I really have nothing against the general membership of the LDS church - most Mormons are kind, honest, sincere folks who are just trying to do what they think is right. I used to be one of them. I was under the false (and arrogant) impression that only Mormons had the truth about God and how to get to heaven. I've since relized the error of this mind-set and have completely abandoned it. But most Mormons don't know what we ex-mos know. They haven't bothered to question the validity of their religious beliefs, or the history of their own church or its leaders. I dare to estimate that 95% (or more) of the general membership of the LDS church are simply unaware of all its many problems.

And although it's perfectly acceptable for Mormons to freely discuss their beliefs to others, they aren't usually very receptive to people discussing something that opposes their views. I'm reminded of the YouTube video by John Safran, an athiest, who makes an attempt to go door to door in Salt Lake City, just as the Mormon missionaries do, in an effort to spread his message of athiesm. The responses from TBM's in this video are classic! You'd think Safran was talking to them about Nazism or the KKK from the way they're treated. It's a classic double standard.

Anyway, I told my sister that I would be happy to help her have her baby's name removed from the records of the church if she so desired.

(Oh, and for the record, neither my sister or I intend on completely keeping our children out of the Mormon church, we are both planning on letting them make that decision for themselves when they are old enough to do so - we just refuse to allow them to be indoctrinated at such a young age by sending them to Primary or other church-sponsored functions.)

But at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if we take the steps to have our names removed from the membership records of the church or not. Once we die, our well-intentioned TBM relatives will take it upon themselves to have us put back on and go through the silly motions of having our temple work done.

Silly Mormons.

Even More Primary Persuasion

2007-07-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, one of the ladies in our local ward dropped by the house (unannounced, as usual) to drop off a customized music CD for the kids. In preparation for an upcoming Primary presentation, the Primary Presidency made these CDs to help familiarize the kids with the songs that will be sung in sacrament meeting.

My stomach churned when I read the playlist.

Of course, track #1 is titled "The Prophet Joseph Smith." (Let the mind-warping lies begin!) Duh! Joseph Smith wasn't a prophet.

Track #2 didn't seem too bad at first glance, "This is My Beloved Son." Hey, at least it's about Jesus, right? Then I noticed that the second verse begins: "Nephites gazing into heaven." There it was...another LDS lie. Damn Nephites are fictional characters. The third verse continued the perpetuated lie about Mr. Smith: "Joseph saw two glorious beings." No he didn't! He couldn't even keep his stories straight about his "experience."

Track #3 is just as bad. "An Angel Came to Joseph Smith." Hell, they really want to convince these poor children that Joseph is worthy of worship, don't they?

Track #4 is "I Know My Redeemer Lives." There's that infamous "know" being thrown about like it means something. They "know" no such thing...especially these poor kids that are being lied to and taught by their parents at such a young age to "bear their testimonies"...like they really have any understanding whatsoever of religious matters.

Track #5: "I Want to Live the Gospel". Here are a couple of the lyrical highlights: "to follow the plan of my savior and live as he wants me to do" (or as the church leadership dictates), and "Because I have learned to obey" (in other words, BLIND OBEDIENCE).

Track #6: "I'll Follow Him in Faith." God, need I say more?

Track #7: "I'm Trying to Be like Jesus." I'm going to teach my children to be like Superman - he was all about helping people too.

Track #8: "Listen, Listen" (to the still small voice) You know, that inner voice we all have inside us that tells us to do things? Haven't there been seriel killers that were killing people because the still small voice was telling them to?

Track #9: "Love is Spoken Here." Love is okay, but Truth isn't. (Ever try to convince a TBM that the "church" wasn't true? Them's fighting words in a Mormon household!) Oh, and this track has the line: "mine is a home where ev'ry hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow'r." Sheeya! Whatever! Invisible blessings and invisible "power". Nope, not buying it!

I will admit...the music is pretty and nice to listen to, but it's tainted by all the absurdities. Thankfully, my (still TBM, thought not currently active) wife hasn't tried to make the kids listen to it. I don't know if she thinks I'll protest against it or what, but she tucked it away on our computer desk and it's sat there ever since. I'm tempted to just toss the disk in the trash (I'll keep the case - I'll make good use of that) but haven't bothered yet. I almost like keeping all this ridiculous stuff around to remind me of all the lies and hypocricy the LDS church is capable of spewing forth on otherwise unsuspecting people.

I'm going to listen to some Blue Oyster Cult now. I love that "Don't Fear the Reaper" song.

It's Official!

2007-07-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

My departure from the LDS church is now complete. It's taken 6 MONTHS to process, but it's finally done.

On Friday, June 29th, I returned home from work and right there waiting for me was an envelope from the Member and Statistical Records Division of the CoJCoLDS. Inside was a letter dated June 27th that simply stated that, per my request, I was no longer a member.

It was a bittersweet victory. Frankly, I expected something more. I'd heard from others who have left that they received a little card with a picture of the First Presidency pleading with them to return to the fold. I was almost hoping to get one of those...not that it would have done any good of course...at least not in convincing me to go back. Leaving the church was the only sane, rational, and logical decision I could have made. Going back now would be virtually impossible, since I cannot unlearn what I have learned about it's history.

I've been wanting to establish a date of my departure so I could make an annual celebration of it, but I wasn't ever sure of what that date would be. The date I sent in my letter? The date the Bishop acknowledged it? The date my request is processed, or when I received the letter of confirmation?

I think I'll go with June 27th. From now on, I'll celebrate that as my "Religious Independance Day". I am now free from any and all organizations, groups, or figurative shackles that keep me, my mind, or my soul in bondage under a wacky set of religious beliefs.

Religions, especially the extremely controlling and legalistic ones, such as the LDS church are more dangerous to the human spirit than they appear.

In closing, I'd like to bear my testimony (I know, this is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment). The LDS aka Mormon church is NOT true. Joseph Smith was a liar and a con-man and was NOT a prophet of God. Brigham Young was a terrible tyrant, NOT a prophet. None of the other so-called "prophets" up to Gordon "I don't know that we teach that" Hinckley have any kind of special connection to God (if he even exists.)
They only perpetuate the lies that old Joe Smith started, and when those lies are revealed, they back-peddle and spin it whichever way they can in an attempt to save face and credibility. The LDS "priesthood authority" is pathetic and worthless. It does nothing. The temple garments are worthless; they do not actually protect people from physical harm (I can't believe I ever bought into that nonsense) and the temple ceremony itself is NOT divinely inspired - wake up folks, it's based on Masonic rituals, nothing more. The Mormon God is pretty absent-minded if he requires secret "tokens and signs" (i.e. handshakes) to know who's worthy of his "heaven" and who isn't. Paying your tithing will not bless your lives any more so than not paying it. It only takes food, clothing, and other necessities from your family - people who need it. God and Jesus and the Corporation of the President DO NOT NEED YOUR MONEY. Keep it. Go do something useful or fun with it.

I say these things in the name of religous freedom, amen.

Mormonism And The Kicking Of Trees

2007-06-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

There's a Wendy's advertisement that's been playing on television lately that shows a group of people out in the woods, kicking trees for no apparent reason. After a moment, one guy suddenly stops and realizes what a stupid thing he's doing and exclaims something like "I deserve a hot and juicy burger!" He then manages to convince those around him to stop kicking trees and join him on his quest for a decent meal.

I was immediately reminded of Mormonism and how being a member of the LDS church was an awful lot like kicking trees.

While an active, believing Mormon, I did a lot of kicking against trees...Home Teaching, paying tithing, attending the 3 hour block of meetings every Sunday, reading scriptures, praying, going to the temple, having Family Home Evenings, etc. At the time, they made sense. Well, at least I had been convinced (or rather, allowed myself to be convinced) that there was some actual purpose for all of this nonsense.

I consider myself one of the rare lucky ones that was able to pause, take inventory of my surrounding and what I was doing and realize how much time (and money!) I was wasting just kicking at a damn tree.

Like the man in the commercial, I stepped away from the tree and shouted "I deserve to be free of this man-made religion and live life to its fullest! No longer will submit myself to all these petty little rules and regulations. I deserve to be happy!"

(And yes, sometimes that happiness can be found in a hot and juicy burger.)

A Testimony of Mormon Tithing

2007-05-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in a previous post, here's the story of the woman who, when facing financial hardship, was turned away by her Bishop, even after faithfully paying her tithing for many years. This article is from the "Reflections On Leaving Mormonism" blog which can be found at exmormon.blogspot.com

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Tithing and Superstition

The issue of tithing was another sore point between my Mormon father and my non-Mormon mother. The Mormon church teaches that if you pay 10% of your gross income (which works out to about 15% of most peoples' net income) that you will be financially taken care of so that you never want for anything you need. Over and over again faith promoting rumors supporting this notion are repeated as fact in church talks and lessons. Many religions believe in tithing to a degree, and the Bible does make scant mention of it. Mormons, however, are probably singular in their enforcement of the principle of tithing. It's central to the Mormon church's tenets, even though it was not central to the teachings of Jesus Christ. They enforce the payment of tithing by blocking non-payers from attending the temple which prevents such from getting to the Celestial Kingdom which prevents their family from being eternal which prevents them from becoming gods. In short, tithing payment is unavoidable for the serious Mormon.

In spite of the fact that Utah consistently boasts some of the highest bankruptcy rates in the US, Mormons still believe that paying tithing will lead them to blessings both financial and personal. My dad's certainty of this was such that his fear of not paying was fanatical. My mom, however, was the one who paid the bills and controlled the money because my dad was so flighty. Bad things happened to my parents all the time, yet only when those bad things coincided with my mom not giving him enough tithing money did my dad equate the bad things with not paying tithing. In truth he almost always paid the full 10%, so there was no convenient explanation for the bad luck they had most of the time. In retrospect I'm surprised that my mom allowed my dad to spend all that money on his religion. I doubt that she spent another 15% of the net family income on herself. In fact, I know she didn't. Not only did my mom do without things like new shoes, a warm coat and unbroken glasses for long periods of time, us kids had nothing. We didn't even know what new clothes would be like until we became adults. There were times when we were so broke, we couldn't even eat. I recall on one occasion opening the refrigerator and finding only ketchup, a few slices of bread and a plastic pitcher of water. To this day I hate to drink water. I learned not to eat much. My sister learned to overeat every chance she got. Most importantly I learned that paying tithing did not mean your needs would be met. Ours rarely were when I was growing up. Yet my dad's fanatical belief in the importance of tithing infected me.

As an adult member, I paid my tithing fully and faithfully. At some point in time I went through a series of setbacks, including a severe medical disability that kept me out of work for most of a year and two natural disasters that destroyed my home. My meager savings was quickly depleted, and so I turned to the Mormon church for some assistance. I had always been taught that the Mormon church had an excellent welfare program, one that they boasted had been held up as a model of what the US system should be like. Indeed. My bishop responded to my request by asking for my most current tithing check, which amounted to my very last couple of hundred dollars. It pained me to write that check, not knowing how I was going to feed my two little girls, but I handed it to him in faith. The bishop said he'd think about the needs of our family and call us back with a plan. The day after the check cleared the bank, the bishop called and said he'd decided not to help us at all. Having surrendered my very last dime and being taken quite aback by this response I was devastated and desperate. Food was already almost all gone, and I had no money for the electric bill. The bishop made the statement that he felt we had somehow mismanaged our meager income. In fact, we had not. Our destroyed home had been a cheap modular. We drove two 10-year-old cars and had never owned a new one. We never went out for food or entertainment. At the time I owned only two pairs of pants, which wore on alternating days to work. Neither of us was contributing anything to our 401Ks because we couldn't afford it. After reviewing my expenditures carefully, it stood out that my only extravagant expenditure at all had been the tithing I had paid. In the ten years I had been married, it had totalled over $40,000. I thought of all the smart things I could have done with that amount of money - saved it, started a 401K, bought a sturdier house, etc. $40,000 would've come in handy in a crisis like the one we were facing. In short, I realized that I had indeed mismanaged my money by giving it to a church instead of taking care of the needs of my family. I realized that I had been no better than my father in that regard.

That week I went to the local United Way office to plead my case. They didn't ask me for money. They didn't judge me or accuse me. They didn't care that I had not been involved with their causes before. Instead, they filled the trunk of my car full of groceries, enough to last for weeks. They helped me get on my feet. I still get teary-eyed when I think of how, ironically, this secular institution was more Christ-like in the way they treated me, a stranger, than the church that I gave all my spare time, money and allegiance to.
posted by FreedWoman at 5:16 PM

A Typical Mormon Family Portrait

2007-05-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

Waiting For William

2007-05-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

One of the few websites I read religiously (pardon the pun) is The Mormon Curtain which is run by fellow exmo Infymus. I check the site every morning, anxious to read articles composed by people on the same journey as I...that is, a journey out of the LDS church and into a normal, healthy lifestyle.

A recent article really touched my heart and I hope the original author of it (as well as the administrators of The Mormon Curtain) won't mind if I republish it here in my meager little excuse for a blog.

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Waiting For William

DATE POSTED: May 2, 2007, at 07:01 AM
TOPIC: EX-MORMONISM SECTION 8 -LINK ARTICLE-
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: KimberlyAnn

I knew I shouldn’t have watched tonight’s PBS special on the Mormons. It made me intensely sad and I’m having trouble controlling the tears. The story about the Mormon woman who died giving birth to her eighth baby really struck a chord with me. I, too, exhausted myself to create a body for a spirit waiting in heaven. He was a little boy and his name was William.

Married and away from home at the age of eighteen, I found myself pregnant immediately. It wasn’t planned and I was shocked, but ready to take on the responsibility of motherhood. When I saw him on the ultrasound for the first time, I was overcome with emotion. There was my baby. It wasn’t clear if my baby was a boy or a girl, but I didn’t need a picture to let me know. I knew my baby was a boy and that his name was William.

At my five month check-up, there was no heartbeat. An ultrasound was ordered and it was clear that my baby was dead. I was utterly alone. My family was over two thousand miles away and my husband was in the military on a mission and wouldn’t be home for many weeks. I was told by the Navy doctor that I would have a miscarriage soon enough on my own and to go home and wait for it. So I did. I waited and waited. A month passed. No miscarriage. I was in a deep depression away from home and carting around a dead baby. I felt constantly ill. One night I awoke with a fever of one-hundred and six degrees. I knew no one to call and felt too sick to drive, so, shivering and wrapped in blankets, I knocked on my neighbor’s door and told her I thought I was dying.

She kindly drove me to Balboa Naval Hospital in San Diego. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that. I know I had a terrible infection and I know they took out my baby. And I was young and stupid and thought for some reason I’d be able to see him afterward. So, after the surgery, I asked the nurse if the baby was a boy. She told me that it was, but that was no surprise to me. I asked if I could see him. She replied, “No, honey! That baby was in no shape to be viewed.” So I asked what they’d done with him and she said, “Well, we disposed of him.”. They disposed of William. They threw away my baby. I was inconsolable but it didn’t matter; there was no one to console me anyway.

After a few days in the hospital I went to my empty apartment and called my Bishop. He gave me a blessing and in it he told me my baby boy needed a perfect body and that Heavenly Father would send him to me again in due time. The comfort I received from that blessing carried me through the next four years until I would have my first successful pregnancy. I had Courtney and was thrilled. But I knew I needed to make a body for William. He’d waited so long for me to finish college. So I got pregnant right away and had a miscarriage. Then I had Madeline. Then a series of many, many miscarriages over the next four years. No pregnancy would stick. There was too much scar tissue from the earlier infection and operation so doctors scraped it out and still I didn’t get pregnant. Finally, after nearly giving up, I had a successful pregnancy and had Chloe. The doctor warned me not to have another baby. She said it was a very bad idea. But William was still waiting.

So against all medical advice, I got pregnant. I knew this was the one. It had to be. Immediately a tumor began forming in my uterus right along with my baby. It had to be removed while I was still pregnant. Unfortunately, I had what I can only describe as some sort of multi-organ breakdown at the same time. My gallbladder became infected and I got terribly sick. It had to be removed. In that operation, an artery was accidentally severed and I lost some blood. They said they gave me seven units, but I really don’t know if that’s a tremendous amount or not, but I do know I was so sick I barely remember the week I spent in the hospital with blood pressure that just would not rise. I recovered just enough after two weeks for them to remove the tumor from my uterus, operating right next to my growing baby.

When I found out I was carrying a girl, I was happy, but pained at the same time. What about William? How would I ever make a body for my baby boy who’d been waiting so long and who had been promised to me in a blessing? My doctor told me my tumor-filled uterus would likely be removed after I delivered the baby. So, I prayed and fasted and cried and prayed some more. After a few months I gave birth to my beautiful little Annie and immediately afterward, just as predicted, my uterus was removed. And my hopes for William went in the garbage right along with it.

For months I grieved my baby boy and finally came to the realization that Heavenly Father would give him to another family. What had I done wrong that my blessing did not come to pass? I always tried to be the best Mormon I could be but that wasn’t enough.

It was almost exactly a year later when I told my husband the church was a fraud. The people in the ward thought I’d lost my mind and had a hormonal imbalance. My husband thought I had postpartum depression. But it was none of those things. I just knew deep down in my heart that Joseph Smith lied and I couldn’t live a lie anymore.

Of course, now I know William was never waiting for another body at all and my Bishop had no authority to tell me he was. William was just a little dead baby in the trash. But sometimes, like tonight after watching “The Mormons” on PBS, I really miss him.
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During all my years as a TBM, I was innundated with ridiculous FPR's on a variety of subjects (usually on obedience to "laws" such as that of tithing). I can't even honestly say I was ever exposed to the opposite viewpoint. I always accepted FPR's as fact and never considered the possibility that for every "faith based miracle" story was an equal and opposite tale of sadness, misery and woe.

I have another story of a former mormon woman who was dirt poor and kept getting promised by her Bishop that she would be blessed for paying her tithing and shortly after she handed over her last few dollars to "settle her tithing", she was forced to then ask the Bishop for help in supplying groceries for herself and child. The Bishop refused.

Most Bishops probably would have been happy to offer this woman, who had so faithfully done what was asked of her, some relief by way of welfare assistance, but that's not the point here. The point is, her Bishop turned her away, when she was in desperate need.

I fully intend on keeping a file of these kinds of stories - I think I'll call them RPF's (Reality Promoting Facts) - for the next time I'm stuck at some "Family Home Evening" with my TBM in-laws. That way, when a tear-invoking FPR on the blessings of tithing or patriachal blessings are shared, I can maybe maintain some balanced perspective with an opposing viewpoint.

Oh, and in closing, I would like to point out that I was only able to watch the second half of "The Mormons" on PBS, and I was fairly impressed with the presentation. Like KimberlyAnn, the author of the above article, I too was shocked and saddened for the man who lost his wife because of their DELUSION that they were somehow responsible for bringing another life into the world. Don't get me wrong, I think children are wonderful little bundles of joy, but I also think people should know when to stop having them. Isn't the world getting a little overpopulated as it is?

That was too high a price to pay for something rooted in LDS teachings.

Tal Bachman hit the nail on the head when, in his interview on the special, he said "Mormonism may be the greatest thing ever invented, but if it's invented, it's not worth dying for."

More Primary Persuasion

2007-04-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

On Monday of last week, a flyer appeared at our front door. It was an invitation to our ward's primary activity which took place yesterday. The flyer was addressed to my oldest child, but the primary leaders must have remembered later that we had another child old enough to be in the primary (but hasn't been going because I've made every effort to keep my family home instead of attending church) because another flyer addressed to him arrived on Tuesday.

Then a member of the primary presidency called on Wednesday and left a message reminding us of the event.

On Thursday, a different member (I don't know if she's part of the primary, or just a "concerned" parent of another primary-aged kid) called to ask if she could come pick up my two oldest children and give them a ride to the activity. (Thanks to the miracle of caller ID, I recognized the number, assumed it was church-related, and let the machine answer it.)

On Friday night, the "concerned parent" called again, leaving another message, asking to give the kids a ride to the activity.

On SATURDAY MORNING, shortly before the event took place, the same lady called AGAIN to ask if the kids were coming to the activity at the ward house.

GOOD GRIEF! These well-intentioned TBMs just don't give up, do they?

I suppose the matter would have dropped had I answered one of the calls and politely declined the offer, or flat out said that the kids would not be attending. I didn't think that a daily effort would be made to get my kids "activated" for a single primary activity for 6 straight days!

Anyway...its just one of those odd little post-mormon situations I find myself in from time to time.

Taking out the trash

2007-04-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

Spring cleaning isn't usually a major activity in my household, but last week I decided to finally straighten our downstairs because it was starting to get too cluttered.

One project turned into two, and then a third, and before I knew it, I was reorganizing our bedroom in order to make room for some stuff. I didn't want to do it, but I knew it was time to clean under the bed. There was a lot of stuff under there that I hadn't seen for years. Literally.

In-line skates I've never used (complete with matching knee and elbow pads!)

Old luggage (my way cool Army garment bag!)

Old magazines that would never be read again.

And here they are! The bag full of temple garments that I stopped wearing two years ago!

No sense in hanging onto those ridiculous things, since I know I'll never make it back to the temple. No more cult rituals for me, thanks! I'm doing just fine out here in the real world with the sane folks.

I suppose that instead of simply tossing the garments into the trash, I could have done something more malicious with them, like burn them or donate them to some crazy evangelical Christian street preacher to stomp on and wave around come next General Converence. But what good would that do?

Nah, the trash can is right where they needed to go. And since I no longer beleive in all the hocus-pocus superstition concering their "sacredness", I didn't bother to carefully remove the little Masonic symbols and burn them in reverence. I say "pshaw" to all that nonsense.

Yep, it's nice to have a clean spot under the bed, an organized basement, and wearing boxers again!

Thus sayeth Al.

Thoughts on "anti-Mormons"

2007-04-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

The following is a comment I left on the One Living Truth message board under the "Response to new anti-Mormon DVD" thread.

I'm tired of the "anti-mormon" label as well. It's overused, and yes, the very term acts as an "off switch" to an otherwise candid and honest (and civil) discussion of the differences between Mormonism and other faiths.

Someone or something that questions, challenges, or disagrees with Mormonism is usually aimed at the doctrine and/or teachings of the church, NOT the people themselves (well, maybe with a few obvious exceptions, such as Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.)

The problem is that faithful TBMs are so CONVINCED that they have the absolute truth, there's just no changing their minds.

I can only speak from my personal experience as a member for 30 years, but it took me an entire year of inactivity to even accept the mere POSSIBILITY that it was all a farce and based only on lies and deception.

Then it took me another year of research and study before I concluded that the church simply wasn't what it claimed to be...what I'd been taught to believe it to be.

The undeniable fact is that Joseph Smith was a con man...pure and simple. Once an honest seeker of truth comes to that realization, it becomes so easy to recognize the rest of the fallacies of the church and its teachings.

When the tendrils of church doctrine have so completely invaded every aspect of one's life, it's so difficult to even imagine any alternatives. The LDS church is all about rules and control and work (oh, the never ending WORK for salvation and eventual "exaltation") and once you get on that little hamster wheel to heaven, it's almost impossible to get off.

Once a TBM has surrendered his or her rational thought processes and replaced them with church doctrine, a near-impenetrable mental barrier is erected between them and everyone else. Herein lies the "us versus them" mentality. Herein lies the origin of the "anti-Mormon" belief system.

I no longer subscribe to the idea of the LDS church as being "the one and only true church on the face of the planet", nor do I support any "prophet" or other church leader as being an inspired mouthpiece of God here on earth.

So what does this make me?

An "apostate?" Sure.

An "anti-Mormon?" In the eyes of TBM's, probably.

But if I'm an anti-Mormon, then True Believing Mormons like Ron and Bob are anti-everyone else.

TO MY FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES

2007-02-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

(I wrote this "poem" last night after tossing back a few shots, so it might not make much sense.)

Once, I thought I had it all figured out.
The universe around me made all the sense in the world and I was more than content to follow all the little harmless rules that were placed upon my young shoulders.

But the world isn't so harmless after all, now is it?

I've finally woken, emerged from my cocoon of ignorant bliss and saw the world for the first time and accepted the awful truth for what it was.

Nothing is simple.
Nothing is plain.
The only constants in life are confusion, frustration, and death.
Always death.

I used to be a believer, of course.
I once placed faith in the impossible, the improbable, the ridiculous, and the insane.
But now I have been made aware.
Of who I am.
And where I came from.
And where I'll ultimately end up.

You see, it isn't so much the destination that matters - not really - but rather it's the journey that affects the very essence of who you are (or at the very least, who you perceive yourself to be.)

If the ride is bumpy and endless and an obscene waste of time, then it really doesn't matter the destination in which we find ourselves.

To live in constant denial of oneself and one's potential is the greatest insult of them all.

Cowardice was never happiness.
Nor lonliness, nor fear of the unknown.
(And isn't the very definition of life THE ENIGMATIC UNKNOWN?)

And so I offer this treatise.
This prayer of life yet lived.

BE YE NOT AFRAID.

Of who you are,
And where you are meant to be.

Life has a funny way of working out in the end somehow.

The bad guys always lose.
And the good guy gets the girl.

This is life.
This is our ultimate destination.

AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE YOU.

Be proud of that, if you can.

Please Leave A Message After The Tone

2007-02-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

My dad finally called a few days ago. He left a message at about nine in the morning (probably figuring that I wouldn't be home at the time to answer it, but who knows?)

Nothing was said concerning our religious disagreement, and he just informed us that he had moved out of the house he'd shared with his current wife and back into the downstairs basement of some ward friends. I'm assuming then that this marriage has suffered the same fate as the six before it and that he'll be divorcing her soon (if he hasn't already.)

I think he has a divorce lawyer on retainer, he gets divorced so often (like Ross from FRIENDS!)

He did say that because of the address change, he hasn't been getting his mail in a timely manner, so I'm reading into that: "I just barely got your letter."

I haven't called him back. Maybe I'm just afraid of stirring things up again. We'd probably be fine if we could just avoid the topic of religion, but I'm not so sure that's possible for him.

Maybe he'll write me back...or call again some evening when I'm home.